My mind

Childhood Hero

I must be weak

because i ALWAYS need a hand to hold

before i sleep

feelings are fucking funny things

i'm just a boy :)

If, but, what.

Maybe there will be sunlight,
just enough for you to see my eyes light up,
maybe you'll love me

but you'll most probably just be let down.

Rightnow

This is more important than being well rested,
Right now this is all i want, along with you.

Surely you must realise

that all the important things are missing?

Things are headed down a rough path, eh.

Save me,

please.
I'm slipping, its true.

11:59

You really don't get it, do you.
You see me, and the condition I'm in so differently, i think.

OMFG

This is me, video-ised

Maybe, just maybe

I'm not the person you thought I was.
Maybe I can't live up to your expectations.
Maybe I'm not what you need and want me to be.
Maybe I'll never be what you thought you could make me.

It seems

that I just don't have the heart...

1:30AM

I do not enjoy my mediocrity...

This is Australia

I thought I'd follow the lead of a friend - http://xpaveparadisex.blogspot.com/
and write a to do list =D



Thats fucking right, im moving out.....again.....
starting this week!



It feels like i have my life in my hands at the moment, and im scared that ill fuck it up....
heavy shit, id like to get a decent hold on my emotions, and sort out my headspace, but then again, ive wanted to for years now, i wish someone would just...get me?



I FUCKING WANT THIS GUITAR!

but then again, i do want alot of things
im way materialistic :P



i want so badly to gig! im so keen to jam!!



i get my p's soon, i simply cannot wait for the freedom!

You're a golden soul

and you make me glow, baby, you make me shine!

So,

I seem to have a regular habit of losing my sense of direction in life,
why is i ti need someone to hold my hand all the time?

Work

is stifling my will to live

Feelings,

are confusing,
and how the fuck do they even work/exist?!?!
chemicals are fucking amazing

im hungry

but the horizon is an attractive thing,
looks like the band is approaching a full lineup, more recording will be soon
i tihnk im sunburnt :(

paddlepops, please

Really,

I do have so much love to give, honestly.
But i think i come across as being a cold person :S

weekend,

that was (and still is) fucked!
i hate the heat, no one is attracted to a sweaty guy with long hair! HAHAHA
anyway, im back form the fathers,
and it turns out i get the keys to my new house this weekend, me and kobi are way fucking keen to move into it!

i have a headache, im hungry, and i hate being alone. But its too hot to be with anyone right now, the world is retarded!

the weekend wasnt productive, but i did organise thge solo to one of the bands songs, iwch is good, aside from that i just drove, worked and melted!

how was your weekend?

paddlepops, please

Friday,

this heat is unbearable,
i have to wear jeans at work, the air conditioner isn't doing much at all, and the heat gives me nosebleeds (haha I'm a token dork!)

I just want to be in the water...
I miss you

I DO however have a kebab :D that makes life a little better, though a drink would be nice...
I haven't had one single customer today, this is bad bad bad, someone come buy a guitar!

Hopefully a swim this afternoon, and over the weekend; inspiration for more interesting and meaningful posts :D

Peace, love & Cold Drinks

Well,

I'd like to think i've achieved alot in my first night of blogging...hopefully someone actually reads this shit :S
On with the story;
so often i look in the mirror, and im disgusted. i hate that feeling...i'm so sick of it.
I'm working tomorrow (friday) wich means my 7:45am bus full of tiny little primary school shit faced kids (oh yays!)
and them im going to dads for the weekend (also 'yays!'...ahem) so ill only have mobile internet, but i'll be back sunday night.

Also,
me and kobi are getting our own house in a few weeks, a tiny 85 year old shack, and its going to take a while for us to organise shit like internet and stuff, so in a few weeks I'll only be able to get on here when the boss is out at work and i havent got a million jobs to do, wich isnt very often.

I'm finding myself with fuck all spare time, wich means very little guitar practise/jamming/song writing/mixing/recording is getting done, this is fucking annoying the shit out of me!!! Working full time is a blow, even if it is in a music shop!

fuck this post is long,
it's 1:32 am, and i have to get up early and face a long ass cunt of a day, so goodnight. Hopefully i can manage to sleep with this rediculous heat >:|

peace & love

I'd like to point out,

that you're always in my head

xx

Really,

I don't know why I did this!
But anyway, theres amazing people in my life right now,
things are changing, for the better for once, i look foward to more improvement!

Lots of new music & bands lately (thankyou kobi),
I know im pretty behind only listening to this stuff now, but still;

Every Word,
Tigers Jaw (!!!!!!!!!!!!!),
Angus & Julia Stone (lol),
Trapped Under Ice,

also,
the best thing to happen to me right now?
i think so!

Yes,

i made a blog!

im keen :D