Tafe begins,
Maths, English, Business Studies and Senior Science, for the 'academic' side of things, and then music industry on Thursday and Friday.
Can't say I'm keen for English, Mathematics and myself never got on, Business Studies is virtually a non-event, but science is the thing I'm really looking foward to.
See I like to engage my mind, but only when it keeps me interested. Maths and English and alot of that shit just doesn't grab me, and the things that are just too intense and deep, like Physics for example, thye grab me for sure, but they're simply too intense for me to concentrate on.
Biology and Earth & Environmental Sciences really interest me, and I tihnk it's fair to say I have a decent ability when it comes to these areas.
Studying science again will be the chance to excell that I've missed so much!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Apple's iPad
I'm so fucking keen, I want one.
Theyre due in Australia soon!
It comes in 2 main configurations; Wi-Fi & Wi-Fi+3G, each having 8, 16 and 32GB versions.
Starting price is going to be somewhere between $500 & $700AU. Words cannot describe how keen I am!
More info: http://www.apple.com/ipad/
Theyre due in Australia soon!
It comes in 2 main configurations; Wi-Fi & Wi-Fi+3G, each having 8, 16 and 32GB versions.
Starting price is going to be somewhere between $500 & $700AU. Words cannot describe how keen I am!
More info: http://www.apple.com/ipad/
Discipline
I was thinking that dicipline is something I lack entirely.
But then I realised something; while in certain areas my lack of discipline is pathetic, that isn't to say I'm not at all disciplined.
Theres been some pretty fucking terrible things I've found so tempting, and been soclose to doing to myself, but it shows discipline that I forced myself not to do them...then again maybe it was just fear of the consequences...I'm really not sure actually.
I did manage to hold down working 6 days a week, attending school (partly) 5 days a week and paying my way for months while I still lived with my mother. Though maybe that was just an excuse for to spend as little time at home near that bitch as possible, and a way for me to adhere to my loyalty to food (because she certainly wasnt fucking feeding me).
So maybe I've demonstrated discipline in some ways, or maybe those very things have actually been me showing my weaknesses, me hiding from the things I hated.
I don't even really understand why I find it neccessary to publicly voice this, I guess putting it into writing and knowing maybe a person or two will agree and maybe relate to these odd things that occur in my mind will help get it off my chest...I sure as hell don't really know how else to get it off there!
Apologies,
But then I realised something; while in certain areas my lack of discipline is pathetic, that isn't to say I'm not at all disciplined.
Theres been some pretty fucking terrible things I've found so tempting, and been soclose to doing to myself, but it shows discipline that I forced myself not to do them...then again maybe it was just fear of the consequences...I'm really not sure actually.
I did manage to hold down working 6 days a week, attending school (partly) 5 days a week and paying my way for months while I still lived with my mother. Though maybe that was just an excuse for to spend as little time at home near that bitch as possible, and a way for me to adhere to my loyalty to food (because she certainly wasnt fucking feeding me).
So maybe I've demonstrated discipline in some ways, or maybe those very things have actually been me showing my weaknesses, me hiding from the things I hated.
I don't even really understand why I find it neccessary to publicly voice this, I guess putting it into writing and knowing maybe a person or two will agree and maybe relate to these odd things that occur in my mind will help get it off my chest...I sure as hell don't really know how else to get it off there!
Apologies,
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Well for fuck,
I can't really say I'm entirely happy with life's proceedings right now.
Tafe starts very soon, and it's 5 days a week. This means back into the 5 days a week of school, work every saturday and sunday to catch up routine that caused me to virtually implode and leave school.
Although, now I have rent and bills ot pay, which I didn't have before.
I'm not happy with the music I'm making, or my lack of talent, and I want to improve these things but i really can't find the drive to fix anything at the moment.
I am entirely sick of being alone, it leaves me weak. Most every night I have my hidden breakdown as i try to sleep. Everytime I fall into one of these 'funks' I find it harder and harder to pull myself out. It's fucking scaring me, its getting worse and worse at an alarming rate, and I feel like im losing myself....
Everywhere I go I leave little traces of feelings. Nothing ends cleanly. My mind and my heart are so entirely fucking scattered and its damned taxing!
I miss the comfort of having a hand to hold, someone to be close with.
It's amazing the grounding a single kiss can give you, having someone who's hair you can run your hand through while the both of you relax and whatnot.
Honeslty, sex is an act from which i gain very little. But knowing I have someone who I can hold close and kiss and enjoy, someone i click with, someone with whom every single moment feels right and perfect is enough to keep me going. Without having this I'm very miserable indeed.
Well this was a shit, aimless blog.
Tafe starts very soon, and it's 5 days a week. This means back into the 5 days a week of school, work every saturday and sunday to catch up routine that caused me to virtually implode and leave school.
Although, now I have rent and bills ot pay, which I didn't have before.
I'm not happy with the music I'm making, or my lack of talent, and I want to improve these things but i really can't find the drive to fix anything at the moment.
I am entirely sick of being alone, it leaves me weak. Most every night I have my hidden breakdown as i try to sleep. Everytime I fall into one of these 'funks' I find it harder and harder to pull myself out. It's fucking scaring me, its getting worse and worse at an alarming rate, and I feel like im losing myself....
Everywhere I go I leave little traces of feelings. Nothing ends cleanly. My mind and my heart are so entirely fucking scattered and its damned taxing!
I miss the comfort of having a hand to hold, someone to be close with.
It's amazing the grounding a single kiss can give you, having someone who's hair you can run your hand through while the both of you relax and whatnot.
Honeslty, sex is an act from which i gain very little. But knowing I have someone who I can hold close and kiss and enjoy, someone i click with, someone with whom every single moment feels right and perfect is enough to keep me going. Without having this I'm very miserable indeed.
Well this was a shit, aimless blog.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Makin' Music, Nathan Speaking
I'm not all too happy with life and its' proceedings at present,
everything seems stagnant, im not making enugh money to do whati want, and i starttafe soon,
NOT FUCKING KEEN
everything seems stagnant, im not making enugh money to do whati want, and i starttafe soon,
NOT FUCKING KEEN
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Residency
My lovely home, that i can call my own for a small fee.
This is the view from my deck!
And this is my shack, she might not be quite straight, but she's home.
This is the view from my deck!
And this is my shack, she might not be quite straight, but she's home.
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