Well for fuck,

I can't really say I'm entirely happy with life's proceedings right now.

Tafe starts very soon, and it's 5 days a week. This means back into the 5 days a week of school, work every saturday and sunday to catch up routine that caused me to virtually implode and leave school.
Although, now I have rent and bills ot pay, which I didn't have before.

I'm not happy with the music I'm making, or my lack of talent, and I want to improve these things but i really can't find the drive to fix anything at the moment.

I am entirely sick of being alone, it leaves me weak. Most every night I have my hidden breakdown as i try to sleep. Everytime I fall into one of these 'funks' I find it harder and harder to pull myself out. It's fucking scaring me, its getting worse and worse at an alarming rate, and I feel like im losing myself....

Everywhere I go I leave little traces of feelings. Nothing ends cleanly. My mind and my heart are so entirely fucking scattered and its damned taxing!

I miss the comfort of having a hand to hold, someone to be close with.
It's amazing the grounding a single kiss can give you, having someone who's hair you can run your hand through while the both of you relax and whatnot.
Honeslty, sex is an act from which i gain very little. But knowing I have someone who I can hold close and kiss and enjoy, someone i click with, someone with whom every single moment feels right and perfect is enough to keep me going. Without having this I'm very miserable indeed.

Well this was a shit, aimless blog.